Year of the Kikay: Day One

When I was a kid, I used to be the type of girl who'd wear pretty dresses, sneak into my mom's closet and experiment with her makeup and perfume. However, this all changed when puberty set in and I felt as if I didn't have what it takes to be one of those ethereal goddesses that strut their stuff down the school halls and everyone in the way would just simply step back and let them pass. In short, my high school years were very awkward, spent mostly in the corners of classrooms and getting picked on for my hairy eyebrows and hygiene (or lack thereof).

So then, I decided being "kikay" was something I could never attain.... until college. College was the time when the kikay girls didn't laugh at me; instead they looked at me and said, "alam mo, maganda ka, pero pinapabayaan mo sarili mo."

So, I took a chance at being kikay again and it did pay off this time. No more awkwardness involved. However, a weird thing happened: boys.

When I was in high school, boys would be swarming around kikay girls who acted really mature. Me, with my passion for anime and video games, was labelled childish and immature. In college though, I started meeting a lot of really cute and attractive boys who wanted "natural-looking" girls and preferred those that wore simple jeans and t-shirts. So really, I was torn between being kikay and maintaining a relationship with a guy who just wanted me to be "natural". Without the makeup and all. And heck, I was a fool to love, so I let the kikay-ness go.

Flash forward to two major heartbreaks and two children later, I realized I had let my looks go. At the age of 24, I should still be spending impulsively on cosmetics and fashion instead of milk and diapers. So I told myself I would work a lot harder so that in addition to buying stuff for my kids (it's tough being a single mom), I would set aside some money for myself so I could invest on my looks, and make me feel good about myself again.

And I thought, what a perfect time to do this than on a New Year? So for 2011, my New Year's resolution would be to take better care of myself and enhance my physical attributes (naturally, mind you).

So, as a first step, I will post this BEFORE photo to see how I started out the year. Don't cringe please. :)